Lights Out Tonight

In June of last year I had a flash story published at SHOTGUN HONEY. I took the title and my inspiration for it from the Springsteen track of the same name. Eighteen months down the road and that piece is now about to be published again, this time it’s alongside stories from guys such as Dennis Lehane and James Grady.

If you are wondering just how in the hell shooting the shit on Facebook with my sometime editor JOE CLIFFORD turned into the most anticipated book of 2014, you can read about it HERE and HERE. I know a lot of people have been waiting a long time for this. If it’s any consolation I guess I’ve been waiting all my life. TROUBLE IN THE HEARTLAND hits the shelves on December 1st.  You can pre-order it right now from Amazon. There are way better stories in there than mine, but like the boss says, “You can’t start a fire without a spark.”

Roadkill Review: Wake Up Time To Die by Chris Rhatigan

WAKEUP TIME TO DIE is a stunning collection of shorts from author and All Due Respect front-man Chris Rhatigan. I had the privilege of reading this long before its summer release date, but being a lazy SOB it has taken me this long to getting around to reviewing it.

WUTTD is a hard book to slap a label on so I’m not going to try. The stories in this collection run the gambit from crime to horror to something else entirely.  Chris Rhatigan has the wonderful knack of making the familiar seem strange and the strange appear down right odd. These 12 superbly crafted tales are full of loners and losers that exist in the space between the edges. Their world is a place where Furbies pack heat and nothing is how it seems.

Rhatigan cuts his noir with Novocain, his prose is sharp as a junkie’s needle and his premise as hazy as the morning after. WUTTD is by turns darkly humorous, somewhat disturbing and always entertaining. Read this and I guarantee you’ll be jonesing for another hit. The highlight for me was “The Things I Need To Be A Hitman” which may just be the best short I have read this year. This is one habit you need. Go buy the book, you can thank me later.

Kneel before AMAZOD

Maybe I should Just Shoot You In The Face

It’s been a long dry spell for Zelmer Pulp, but after several trips to rehab and one custodial sentence we’re back with new blood, fresh ideas and clean underwear.  

MAYBE I SHOULD JUST SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE is our first collective venture into the dark, gritty world of noir. For the ZP team that meant they were going home and it shows. This issue features stories from all the regular ZP offenders, including new fish, Benoit LeLievre and Gareth Spark. In an attempt to make us more attractive to woman we have added New Jersey Noir photographer Mark Krajnak to the ZP roster. His stunning photography appears throughout the book. We are also delighted to have our old pal and father of Brit Grit Paul D. Brazill along for this ride.  

The Tesla version is available right now for your electronic trickery at the princely sum of just 99 cents and a dead tree version will be arriving just as soon as we have slashed and burned enough rainforest. Check out this doozy of a trailer and then go buy the thing. You won’t regret it. Well, you might, but by then I’ll be like 3 cent’s richer and probably living in some offshore tax haven. Hammer down!

  

Zelmer Pulp Is Back!

That’s right, and this time we’ve brought friends.

While working on the Springsteen-inspired noir collection TROUBLE IN THE HEARTLAND with Gutter Books, we figured we'd be idiots not to capitalize on that tidal wave and we decided to start work on a noir collection all our own.


The end result is, MAYBE I SHOULD JUST SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE, a gritty no holds barred take on crime fiction that will leave you beaten, bloody and thirsting for more.  New Jersey-based photographer Mark Krajnak is contributing some stunning noir themed photographs to both the Springsteen collection and MISJSYITF, which will add a whole other dimension to our publications. The cover for MISJSYITF (above) is still a work in progress, but you get the idea.

If that wasn’t enough we have added 28.6% more awesome to the ZP gene pool with the permanent addition of Gareth Spark and Benoit Lelievre to the team. Gareth is one of England's leading noir voices and all-around hard-hitting presence, he came onboard as a guest writer for MISJSYITF and we soon realized we would be crazy not to ask him to stick around full time.  Ben is the eloquent but brutal mastermind behind the website DEAD END FOLLIES and author of numerous hardcore fiction pieces. There really wasn’t any discussion needed about inviting these two guys to join the party. Something just clicked. It just felt right. And there is no doubt that we will be stronger because of it.

Look out for MISJSYITF soon and for TROUBLE IN THE HEARTLAND in the fall.

Maybe I Should Just Shoot You In The Face?

Apart from working through the frustratingly slow process of getting our Springsteen based crime anthology, TROUBLE IN THE HEARTLAND (did I mention both Dennis Lehane AND Ryan Sayles are in it?) out into the world, it’s been quiet pretty on the Zelmer Pulp front, too quiet. 
All that is about to change with this dark hit of Noir. The talented Isaac Kirkman is taking a well earned break, but MAYBE I SHOULD JUST SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE will feature stories from all the other Zelmer regulars, Brain Panowich, Chuck Regan, Ryan Sayles, Chris Leek and our very special guest, Gareth Spark. Add to that an introduction by Brit Grit Legend, Paul D. Brazill and you have a book that will bring world peace, stop global warming and get you pregnant*. This puppy should be rubbing up your leg in the next couple of weeks.

*These are lies. This book will not do any of those things and any conception that may occur while reading it is purely coincidental.

Roadkill Review: The Big Rain by Paul D. Brazill

Luke Case is a down-at-heel newspaper hack with a nose for trouble and a taste for strong drink. In this, the forth installment of his story we find him walking the dangerous back streets of a rain-washed Toulouse. Just like Luke’s earlier European adventures in Warsaw and Madrid and Grenada, THE BIG RAIN is chocked full of seedy characters, double dealing and old scores that bleed like open wounds.
Paul Brazill is a writer who knows his business. He delivers the kind of dark and gritty story that ticks all of the boxes. His easy style and wry sense of humor make THE BIG RAIN a very enjoyable read.

All of the Luke Case stories can be read as standalone works, but if you want to really immerse yourself in Luke’s world of dive bars, bad deals and dead ends, I recommend starting with, RED ESPERANTO and going from there. If you like your noir dark and moody with plenty of style then you won’t be disappointed.   

I haven’t reviewed anything on here (or anywhere else) for a coon’s age. I’m going to make an effort to review more regularly from now on, but I ain’t making no promises!

Westbound and Down

One Eye Frigga, the original Shotgun Honey is here to mark my return to the pages of crime fiction's coolest hangout. I’m back for my third go around at SGH with a brand new story, “Westbound and Down.” As always, many thanks to Ron Earl and the team for letting me lower the tone once again. This could well be the only story of mine to appear online this year, so make the most of it!
I hope you’ll take the time to stop by and give it a read and maybe drop me a comment if you feel so inclined.

 

That Escalated Quickly!

You probably thought  Zelmer Pulp were sleeping it off under a freeway overpass somewhere and that our particular brand of awesome was on hold until after holidays, or at least until we found Brian Panowich, who was last seen heading west in a stolen Camaro with a transvestite table dancer. The thing is we never sleep, at least not without prescription meds. So just in time for the holidays here is something a little bit special from our very own red-suited fat guy with a reindeer fetish, Ryan Sayles.  

THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY!

Flash fiction doesn’t leave a lot of room for build-up, so it’s best to start by going for the throat and seeing where it leads. In these stories Ryan Sayles does just that. He turns on a dim light and leads the reader down an already claustrophobic path. Active shooter event? Check. Ugly, failed relationships? Check. Dope fiends making smart decisions? Check. People seeking out roadkill because that’s the deepest relationship they can handle? Check. Putting on a soiled Easter Bunny costume to say goodbye the hard way to your former office colleagues who all foolishly thought they had the last laugh? Check and double check. Each story is like an unmarked pill; just swallow it and see what happens. C’mon. It’ll be fun.

The ability to tell a story with only one or two thousand words that stays with a person for days afterwards is a rare talent. Ryan Sayles knows this, and what’s more he has that talent. Read “Uncluttering” and then tell me I’m wrong. These 22 stories are some of the best edgy fiction you will find anywhere, period. And I’m not just saying that because Ryan is a buddy (he doesn't read this blog anyway.) I’m saying it because I believe it.

THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY is out now in both print and e-book. You may hammer down when ready.

 

Johnny Cash Killer

I have a new story up Thrills, Kills ‘N’ Chaos. What with one thing and another, It’s been a while since I have had some of my flash fiction published online and it’s nice to get back in the groove again. JOHNNY CASH KILLER is basically a story of revenge, and maybe regret. There is even a little romance in there too. I got the idea and the title from a line in Eric Beetner’s excellent novella, THE DEVIL DOESN’T WANT ME, so thanks Eric, even though you are blissfully unaware that I stole it! Thanks also to TKNC editor, David Barber for giving the story fine home. You can check out JOHNNY CASH KILLER here: Thrills, Kills ‘N’ Chaos. 

While you're over there why not take a look at some other great stories form guys like Paul D Brazill, Dyer Wilk and my brudda, Ryan Sayles.

Reloaded

As usual I’m a day late and a dollar short, so we best get on with it. BOTH BARRELS, the first anthology from Shotgun Honey, was awesome and I was gutted to miss out on a slot. I’m going out on a limb and saying that RELOADED is even better, and it has nothing to do with the fact I have a story in this one. Okay, so it has a little to do with that, but you should buy it anyway.
 
What’s that you want free shit? Well, alright then, Ron Earl Phillips is giving copies away on Goodreads for those of you in the US who are to damn tight to pay cash money. Just click on the linky thing HERE  

In case you're still on the fence, here’s the TOC:
Patti Abbott – The White Funeral
Hector Acosta – The Howl at the Park
Erik Arneson – All Alone
Cheri Ause – The Trouble with Sylvia
Trey Barker – Release of Degradation
Eric Beetner – One Corpse, Two Assholes
Terence Butler – What Goes Around
Joe Clifford – How to Clean a Gun
Garnett Elliott – Rollin’ Mona and the Tijuana Slide
Rob W. Hart – A Blow to the Head
Andy Henion – When Monte Comes Calling
John Kenyon – No Place Like Home
Nick Kolakowski – How I Spent My Summer Vacation
Ed Kurtz – Buffalo Squeeze
Frank Larnerd – Three Count
Chris Leek – Loose Change
Mike Loniewski – Loose Ends
Bracken MacLeod – Ciudad de los Ninos
Julia Madeleine – Love Gone Bad
Brian Panowich – Set Fire to the Trees
Terry Rietta – Rubes
Rie Sheridan Rose – Tumbling After
Ryan Sayles – They’re Pros, Each and Every One
Richard Thomas – Trinity
John Weagly – The Last Croak

See, I told you.

Roadkill Review: Wake The Undertaker by Joe Clifford

Buy it!

Here is the last of my favorite reads from the first six months of 2013. Wake The Undertaker is a gloriously atmospheric slice of noir from the irrepressible, Joe Clifford.

Most people would be content just to sit back and take the plaudits after reaching such a literary high, but Joe Clifford isn't most people. His introduction to Zelmer Pulp's Hey That Robot Ate My Baby! may be viewed by many as his finest work to date, but hold the phone, he has another novel out.

Wake The Undertaker is actually Joe Clifford’s first novel. It beat the much-admired Junkie Love to the punch by a couple of weeks. When that autobiographical tour de force showed up fashionably late with huffing candy around its nose and a sly grin on its face, it immediately set about stealing the thunder from its elder sibling and has been hogging the limelight ever since. While there is little doubt that Junkie Love is a damn fine book, Wake The Undertaker is no ugly sister and it’s high time we showed it some love.

Nineteen year old Collie Spector is a nightclub singer on the up. He’s got the looks and the voice, but he’s also got the boss’s girl, Zoey, and when that boss is Gabriel Christos, the son of Bay City’s crime overlord Cephalus “the Old Man” Christos, it doesn’t take a genius to work out that the fall Collie is headed for is going to be a big one.

Gabriel orders a beat down, which includes ending Collie’s career by cutting his vocal chords, and with the help of Bay City’s crooked cops, Gabriel frames the singer for a crime he didn’t commit. Collie does time in the City’s Island prison of Rockville, working on his upper body and trying to come to terms with the fact he will never sing again. When he comes out, he is twice the man he was, but Collie isn’t the only one who has changed during those seven years.

Gabriel is now estranged from his old man and trouble is brewing between them. Collie soon finds himself sucked into their murky underworld of drugs and politics and ends up working for the very man who orchestrated his downfall.

Bay City is a dark and rain-swept place where the hoods date strippers and dirty cops are on the take from nightclub-owning crime bosses. Here, the washed up newspaper men tell it like it is, everyone drinks their bourbon straight and nothing is quite as it seems.

Joe Clifford has delivered an exceptional pulp novel that reminded me of Frank Miller's finest, but without the pictures. If you were to cut Wake the Undertaker with a knife it would bleed with noir. It would also jump back up and shank you with a rusty screwdriver. I really hope that it isn’t destined to become Joe Clifford’s “other novel." Wake The Undertaker deserves much better than second billing and is a true star in its own right. Part of me hates Mr. Clifford for being this good, but most of me can’t wait to read his next one.

My original review of Wake The Undertaker can be found at the online supermax for offensive fiction: Out Of The Gutter

Tucson Noir

If you are in the Tucson area on Saturday 23 March, then get along to Mostly Books for a short sharp shot of noir from four of the best in the business.

My Zelmer Pulp brother, the incredibly talented Isaac Kirkman will be joined by top Tucson authors CS DeWildt, Bill Baber and Los Angeles' own Rich Osburn for an afternoon of short crime fiction readings.

I know all of these guys and I can thoroughly recommend their work. This is one of those times when I really wish I wasn’t stuck on the other side of the ocean.  

Mostly Books, 6208 E Speedway, Tucson, Arizona 85712. Tel: 520-571-0110

Roadkill Review: Post Office by Charles Bukowski

I used to work in a warehouse unloading shipping containers. When you cut off the seal and open them up you are faced with a 7’ x 7’ wall of cartons that stretches back 40 feet. It was freezing cold in winter, hot as a whore’s crotch in summer and back breaking all year round.

Anyone who has made minimum wage in a similar fashion will immediately identify with the dead end grind of Bukowski’s semi-autobiographical protagonist, Henry Chinaski.

Chinaski is a low life loser working a menial day job to support his hobbies of beer, broads and racetracks. He hates his job, his co-workers and at times himself.  

Post Office is a story about life or maybe existence would be a better word.  Chuck Palahniuk summed it up: “We all work jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need.”

I really can’t make up my mind about Bukowski; for me he falls somewhere between working class anti-hero and self centered arrogant. I guess that’s part of his charm, or lack of it depending on your point of view. He certainly does the down beat humor and fuck-you narrative better than most; he should, arguably he was the one who invented it.  

Post Office was Bukowski’s first novel and as such it is a little loose and it lacks the depth of his more engaging later works like Ham on Rye. But if you like your characters down and dirty and your prose spare and raw then this is a novel worthy of your time.

Roadkill Review: Brown’s Requiem by James Ellroy.

Everybody knows James Ellroy right? His L.A. Quartet provides the hard-boiled benchmark that defines a genre for many. Even if you haven’t read him, you will at least be aware of the movie L.A. Confidential, based on his novel of the same name.

This work pre-dates that movie by some sixteen years and is in fact Ellroy’s first novel.  Set in contemporary Los Angeles it follows the trials and tribulations of a hard bitten PI, Fritz Brown in his attempt to unravel a complicated case of arson and blackmail.  These old school noir staples are put to good use by an emerging Ellroy and the same wonderful spare prose and clipped dialogue that mark his later works are here in spades.

Brown’s Requiem was written by a man still honing his craft. If you look carefully you will see it in the plot, which at times seems jumbled and is prone to wander. There is a lot of the author’s own life mixed in here too; his love of golf and classical music are to the fore throughout and it can feel a little like you are being force fed with Ellroy’s self indulgence. That said this is still James Ellroy and Brown’s Requiem is a novel worthy of his name.

If you only plan on reading one Ellroy book then it’s hard to look past the big four. Choose The Black Delilah of my personal favorite The Big Nowhere. But if you want an enjoyable and interesting look at how he came to write them, start here.

ADR Hits The Streets

ALL DUE RESPECT is the sort of anthology you dole out to yourself piecemeal. You read “Even Sven” and then shake your head, looking off into the distance, trying to make sure you start breathing again. You read Matt Funk and Patti Abbott the way you eat a good meal in that restaurant you go to for your anniversary. You savor the characters, the plot undertones. When a Joe Clifford character says that something “tastes like a cat’s ass,” you nod that, yeah, that character probably has that experience. Full of great stories from David Cranmer, Thomas Brown, Fiona Johnson, Ryan Sayles and more, ALL DUE RESPECT is a book you’ll read a story at a time, maybe one a night, like that after-dinner drink you can’t put down.
- Steve Weddle, editor, NEEDLE Magazine
 
Highlighting lowlifes in hardboiled homilies – these stories stick it in and break it off. Tender as a brick, subtle as a Molotov Cocktail.
– Jedidiah Ayres author of Fierce Bitches

You can kick off your weekend with this bad boy for only 99c/ 77p

Hammer down at Amazon or Amazon UK

A Short Review of the Reviews

Since I landed the gig at Out of the Gutter all of my book reviews have headed that way. This is mainly due to the fact that my week doesn’t usually allow the time needed to read two books. I want to change that, make more time for reading and start posting some reviews back here again, perhaps take a look at some books which don’t fit in with the Gutter’s style. 

My OOTG reviews tend to focus on emerging and independent authors as I feel these are the guys and girls who can make best use of the platform. I’m a writer and I know how tough it is to get the word out there. Established authors don’t need a half-assed critic like me to blow literary smoke up their ass, they already have the platform  that comes from a five book deal with a major. That said, another thing I'd like to do is pass comment on some of those bigger guns from time to time.  So keep a look out for that kind of thing here and remember to check the Gutter on Tuesdays for my weekly slice of the crime stuff. (You can find those crime reviews just by clicking the linky thing to the right).

 

So that was 2012 then?

It’s the end of the world year as we know it and actually now I think about it, yes I do feel fine. 2012 hasn’t been an easy ride for several reasons; the economy for one, that's spent the last 12 months resolutely entrenched in the toilet, which in turn has left me clinging to the wreckage of my day job, but like the Boss says: you got to learn to live with what you can’t rise above, so screw all that. 2012 has also been pretty awesome.

Roll back one year to the 20th December 2011. That was the day I got an e-mail from a guy named Larry Green, he's the editor of an online zine called Death Head Grin. Back in the September I had sent him a short story called Wetwork, like the other stories I was touting around at that time it had already been rejected by several other places, so I couldn’t quite believe it when Larry told me he dug the story and he was going to publish it. That was the first piece of fiction I ever had accepted for publication. Those of you who write will know how that felt. For those of you who don’t, try to imagine a lottery win and an orgasm rolled into one. You’re a good man Larry Green.

Roll forwards again to today, one year on and I’ve had 18 short stories published, one even made the cut for the new Out of the Gutter 8 print / e-book anthology (I may have mentioned that once or twice recently).  I’ve also got myself a regular writing gig, reviewing more talented folk’s stuff at the Out of the Gutter website. All that counts as awesome in my book, but what has really made this year for me is the help, support and above all the friendship of the people I’ve met in the crime / noir writing community.  I’m sorely tempted to name the names, but you guys know who you are right? Well you all have my sincere thanks.  

I know that my writing won’t pay the rent or make a damn of difference in the grand scheme of things, but it makes me happy and if once in a while I write something that makes somebody who reads it happy too, I’ll take that.

Happy Christmas Y’all.

Hot Naked Chicks

Now that I have your attention, here’s something for all you crime fiction types to get your panties in a bunch about.

That’s right Out of the Gutter 8 has landed. This fine work of bad-ass fiction has been lovingly crafted, cajoled and generally beaten into submission by those stand up citizens at OOTG: Court Merrigan, Matt Louis, Joe Clifford and Tom Pitts.

This is undoubtedly a book that will change your life for the better; a stone cold killer, jammed with down and dirty treats from the following kings and queens of cool:  Matthew C Funk, Les Edgerton, Jen Conely, Ryan Sayles, Chris DeWildt, Issac Hayes, Mike Monson, Richie Naravez, T. Fox Durham, Nicola Murphy, Dana C. Kabel, Michael Bracken, David James Keaton, David Corbett and Todd Mohar. Hell, they even made room for a little something by some dude called Chris Leek, but don’t let that put you off.

The e-book is available right now at an Amazon near you; print will follow hot on its heels in the next day or so. Trust me you need this book, it’s the one everybody at school is going to be talking about and you don’t want to be ‘that guy’ now do you?

Go and buy one for yourself, then buy another copy and slip it into Grandma’s stocking. It is Christmas after all.

Order from Amazon UK
Order from Amazon.com

A word on some words

Well I guess it must be December because all the blogs are filling up with their owner's choice for the best read of 2012. And I don’t see why the hell mine should be any different.

I’ve read a lot this year, though nowhere near as much as I would have liked. Time is the fire in which we all burn and I still have a mountain of books, both paper and ‘e’ waiting patiently for my attention. Earlier this year I stared doing some book reviews for Out of the Gutter, I may have mentioned that once or twice on here already. Writing those reviews has been a blast, but it has, by necessity streamlined my choice of reading and 2012 saw me consuming a lot more in the Crime / Noir / Hard-boiled arena, than perhaps I might have otherwise. I’ll point out the obvious and say that not all of my picks were first published this year, but as I read them in 2012 they shall reside here regardless. Anyway onwards! In no particular order, here are my favourites. There were plenty of others that were good, but these were better.  



Make of that what you will, but you could do a lot worse than dropping your Dollar, Pound, Euro or Dinar on any of these excellent works.

 

School is in Brit Grit style

Traditionally the good ole’ USA has always been the land of the free and home to all things hard-boiled, pulp and noir. But nowadays there’s plenty of blood being splattered across the pages on this side of the pond too.
Gone are the days of quirky old ladies solving cozy mysteries from the comfort of their fireside armchairs. We've got a new crime wave of writing talent in the UK that’s busy kicking down those doors of convention.
Paul D. Brazill tells it like it is in this excellent article, so pull up a chair people, Brit Grit School is in.

Paul D. Brazill - What the hell is Brit Grit?