The West Is Just About To Get Weird

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Zelmer Pulp is headed west later this month with our new epic collection FIVE BROKEN WINCHESTERS. This time we have invited a friend along and Shotgun Honey supremo, Ron Earl Phillips will also be saddling up to join the Zelmer Posse.

FIVE BROKEN WINCHESTERS spans the whole arc of the western genre from hard-boiled traditional stories of blood and revenge to science fiction and weird western horror. The full line up is as follows:

Obsidian by Ryan Sayles
Red December (A Harmon Brown Yarn) by Brian Panowich
The Atheist by Isaac Kirkman
The Ballad of Jeremy Diggitt by Chuck Regan
The Guns of Justice by Chris Leek
The Last Shot by special guest, Ron Earl Phillips

FIVE BROKEN WINCHESTERS will be available in both e-book and print editions. We are again fortunate that the exceptionally talented Chuck Regan will be providing the book's original cover art. Keep an eye on the Zelmer Pulp website for further updates. This is also the place to go for details of our other publications, special offers, Ryan's transvestite fashion tips and to download our recipe for armadillo and squirrel burritos. 

If you want a little taste of what’s on offer, (the westerns that is, not the burritos) then why not pick up a copy of Brain Panowich’s first Harmon Brown Yarn, BABY JUICE, which is available now for a paltry sum on Amazon. So as Deputy Marshall Rooster Cogburn once said "Fill your hand you son-of-a-b*tch."

Roadkill Review: Fierce Bitches by Jedidiah Ayres

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Seeing as we are 50% done with 2013, I thought I would take the opportunity to share another of my favorite reads from the first half of the year. The rise of the e-book has seen a massive resurgence in the popularity of novellas and there have been some exceptionally good ones released recently. To my mind “Fierce Bitches” by Jed Ayres is the best of the lot.

Welcome to Politburo, a sweltering hell-hole of dust and heat somewhere south of the Mexican border. This shanty town doesn’t appear on any maps and its residents don’t appear on any census. This town is the last stop for the gringo gun thugs and Mexican whores who have become surplus to the requirements of the boss. Everyone in this town dreams of escape, even if they only want to escape from themselves. Many have died trying, maybe one day somebody will make it out.

I can sum up “Fierce Bitches” with just one word and an exclamation mark—WOW! This brutal and savage story is brilliantly told using intertwined, multiple POVs that meld seamlessly together and allow a harsh beauty to shine through all the blood and the violence. Jed Ayres has nailed it and delivered a hell of a book. Rarely have I come across an author who is capable of such rich and surprising prose. His narrative voice is both intoxicating and addictive.

My full review can be found online at Out Of the Gutter.

Roadkill Review: American Death Songs by Jordan Harper

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“I do not believe in the Devil or the sanctity of Jesus Christ, but I’m telling you that something greater than you or me put that song on the radio at just that moment…”

Jordan Harper takes his readers from desert highways to backwoods bars and beyond. Here crime is king and these ballads of bad-ass sing about lives full of dead ends, blown deals and settled scores. Some of them have been played before, others are as yet unsung, but all are remarkable and deserve to be heard.

There is something deliciously poetic in Jordan Harper's gritty prose. Like being hit with brass knuckles while your sweetheart slips you the tongue, his words draw you in, smack you hard and leave you breathless.

You can pick any one of the stylish tales and I'll be more than happy to heap on some praise on it. ‘Plan C’ is a brilliant and brutal heads up on how things can go real bad, real quick; while ‘Heart Check’ captures the kill or be killed of the prison yard better than anything I have previously read. But I’ll take ‘Red Hair and Black Leather’ as my favorite, because when it comes down to it I’m just an old romantic and any that story starts with the line, “She had an ass like a heart turned upside down and cut in half,” automatically get’s my vote.

This review first appeared in my column at Out Of The Gutter Online. Since then two things have happened, firstly, my opinion hasn’t changed; ‘American Death Songs’ is still the best short story collection I have read this year and secondly, the opening story, ‘Midnight Rider’ has now been made into a short film starring Ryan “Opie” Hurst and if that don’t float you’re boat, you’re in the wrong place, pilgrim.

A Double-Barreled Blast

Hey, I have a new one up at Shotgun Honey this weekend, 700 words of bad-ass called Candy’s Room.  It’s really a love story and one that I’m pretty darn proud of. For one reason or another it has taken over two years to see the light of day, which makes its belated publication all the sweeter for me. I hope you’ll stop by and give it the once over. It will only take you a couple of minutes, and who knows, you might even dig it?

While we are on the subject of Shotgun Honey, I am stoked to tell you that I have got myself a slot in their second print anthology, Both Barrels – Reloaded.  The first anthology was killer and I was gutted to have missed out, but with so many great writers and only 30 slots, I wasn’t too surprised that I did.

This time around I was determined to raise my game and make the cut. My story is called Loose change and I think it is one of the best I have ever written. Congratulations are also due to my brother from another mother, Brian Panowich who also got the nod with his flat out awesome story, Set Fire To The Trees.  The anthology will be out in September, I’ll be sure to mention it here once or twice, just to remind you.  

In the meantime, get on over to SGH and show Candy a little love: Candy’s Room

Happy Fathers Day, Muthas!

No Batteries Required - FREE Analog Robots

Hey look, free shit!

One thing I've noticed recently is that 97.6% of all giveaways on Goodreads etc. are limited to those who reside in the good old US of A. So just for a change, here's one for this side of the pond (that's the side that drinks tea with milk and drives on the left).




If you live in the UK and would like to own a print copy of HEY, THAT ROBOT ATE MY BABY, but are too skint or tight to buy one then listen up, because I'm giving one away for free. 

When Orson Scott Card, author of the bestselling sci-fi novel ENDER'S GAME was asked to comment on Zelmer Pulp's science fiction magnum opus he had this to say: "This is private property, get out before I call security. And put your pants back on."

So there you have it. I'll even spring for the postage and sign the damn thing if you want me to, although I should point out that my signature will put a significant dent in any potential resale value. 

To be in with a shout of winning this magnificent tome, just leave a comment on this post. Let's make June 16th the cut off date, after which time I will pick the winner at random, possibly from a hat. In the (quite likely) event of nobody bothering to comment by the 16th, then forget about it, the deals off.  Got it? Well then, what are you waiting for?

While we are on the subject, HEY, THAT ROBOT ATE MY BABY, has received a couple of killer five star reviews recently (take a look HERE if you don't believe me). But we can always use a few more, so belly up to the bar people.

Roadkill Review: Tales from The Longcroft by Darren Sant

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Looking for something for the weekend? Well, if you haven’t done so already I can recommend checking out Tales From The Longcroft by Darren Sant.

In this collection of interwoven stories the author has created a rich tapestry of believable characters. The poor and the marginalized that inhabit his fictional council estate are vividly drawn. Their daily struggle to survive in the run-down terraces and tower blocks of the Longcroft is told with compassion, humor and no mean skill.

The writing is tight and absorbing. I found myself instantly sucked into this gritty world of chancers, wasters and small time crooks. Darren Sant handles some difficult subject matter with consummate ease. His social commentary is spot on, but he never allows the stories to wallow in self pity and lifts the narrative to another level with some clever touches and plenty of dry wit.  

All of the stories here are worthy of your time, but for me, the best of a very good bunch is “Rowan’s Folly” which tells the story of Andy and Shona and provides a harsh lesson in what happens when you rub another man’s rhubarb on the Longcroft Estate.

The Jackson Cage

I’m back at The Flash Fiction Offensive today with a little number called The Jackson Cage.

This story is my first one to be published online for quite a while. My other writing commitments have meant I’m not writing all that many flash pieces these days. I’d like to think that makes the quality of the ones I do put out that much better, but I’ll let you be the judge of that.

I’d like to thank Tom Pitts and Joe Clifford for letting me lower the tone of their virtual pages once again and also thanks are due to Ryan Sayles and Rich Osburn for running the rule over my first draft.

I hope you read it and I hope you dig it. If you do, drop me a comment.

The holding tank has its own set of rules. Jail isn’t prison and the learning curve can be a steep one. THE JACKSON CAGE