Five Broken Winchesters

Get it here!

It seems only fitting that I should be a whole week late in blogging about the release of Zelmer Pulp’s new Western collection. FIVE BROKEN WINCHESTERS has been subject to a metric ton of delays, at one time I actually thought we might never get there. But thanks largely to the efforts of Brian Panowich, Chuck Regan and stand up dude, Lincoln Crisler we now have a book—a damn good one too—featuring seven tales of the Weird and indeed the Wild West, written by the Zelmer Pulp team and special guests Ron Earl Phillips and Heath Lowrance.

Most of you will know Ron Earl Phillips as the head honcho of Shotgun Honey and The Big Adios. Ron has published all of the Zelmer crew at one time or another and we are delighted to have his traditional western story, ‘The Last Shot’ in the collection.

Heath Lowrance is another guy who needs no introduction, which is a little ironic seeing as he wrote the one for FIVE BROKEN WINCHESTERS. Heath also contributed a fantastic flash story featuring his hard-eyed righter of wrongs and legend of the Weird West, Hawthorne.
 

This edition also features killer tales from the Zelmer Pulp entertainment collective: Isaac Kirkman, Ryan Sayles, Brian ‘Yeti Chop’ Panowich and Chuck Regan, who also painted the cover and once again humbled us with both his artistic and his sexual...err, I mean literary prowess.

My humble contribution, ‘The Guns of Justice’ sees the debut of my scarred bounty hunting heroine, Justice McCann. Here’s a little taster to hopefully whet you appetite and loosen you wallet.

The Jailhouse door banged open, bringing down dust from the rafters and toppling the stack of papers on Wade Pollock’s desk.

“Goddammit!”  Wade said, shading his eyes against the bright spring sunshine that invaded his office.

A man stood in the doorway, he was nearly as wide as he was tall and looked about ready to chew up iron and shit out nails. Wade knew him right off; his picture was pinned up across from his desk. The wanted poster showed a buzzard-eyed killer with a huge beard. It was a good likeness. But Cory Johnson could only truly be appreciated by seeing him in the flesh. Wade twisted in his seat, reaching for the gun belt that hung on the back of his chair.

 “Where’s the sheriff?”

The female voice stopped Wade cold, his gun half clear of its holster. There was a dull smack as wood met meat and Johnson collapsed to his knees with a grunt. Behind him stood a girl—or at least something close to a girl—holding an old Baker side-by-side, stock first.

“You’re lookin’ at him,” Wade said continuing to pull his piece in spite of the fact that he could now see Johnson’s hands were tightly bound, or maybe because of it. 

The girl leaned and spat tobacco juice into the coffee can by the door. It gave Wade a good look at her face and the terrible scars she carried there.

“What happened to Miller?” she asked.

“Been dead about a month, I’m running things around here now. Wade Pollock’s the name.”

“In that case, this here belongs to you,” she said flatting Johnson completely with a well-aimed kick to his kidneys.

Wade looked from the gasping Cory Johnson to the girl and then to the crowd that had gathered in the street outside. “You best come in then, and close the door, that is unless you want the whole damn town knowing our business.”

***
 

FIVE BROKEN WINCHESTERS is available right now for your high-fluting Kindle machine and we are currently engaged in large scale deforestation to bring you a dead tree version by the end of the week. So have and it, or as we say here at Zelmer Pulp, Hammer Down!  

 

 

Book Deals, Births and Buddies

This past week has been crazy and I have a lot of catching up to do. I’ll start by saying how delighted I am that the wonderful people at Snubnose Press will be publishing my novella NEVADA THUNDER.  It’s a fast, hard-boiled ride full of dive bars and bad decisions. Here’s the blurb:

The sun isn’t the only thing that beats on you in the Nevada desert. Johnny Gregson learned that the hard way. He used to be a fighter, sooner or later people will realize that he still is.

 His only knock down came from Carlo Martinez, but it didn’t happen in the ring. Martinez is no boxer. He’s the Las Vegas front man for a Mexican drug cartel. When Gregson refused to throw a fight, Martinez paid him back with a trumped up drug charge. Call it a technical K.O.

 Gregson did the time and came out a little older and maybe a little wiser. He didn’t want revenge, but that wasn’t going to stop his surrogate sister, Kara from trying to get it for him. Her naive attempt at blackmail has landed them both in a world of trouble. Part of the problem is that Kara doesn’t have anything on Martinez; the other part is Martinez believes she does.

If everything goes to plan NEVADA THUNDER should hit the shelves by the end of the year. It goes without saying that I’m pretty stoked about the whole thing and honored to be joining the Snubnose family.

I owe a lot of people a lot of things (money mostly), but I also owe a big thank you to my Zelmer Pulp brothers, Chuck Regan, Brian Panowich, Isaac Kirkman and Ryan Sayles for reading the early drafts of NT. They helped me make it a much better book.

Talking of ZP it’s been a landmark week for Ryan Sayles too, his wife, Donna gave birth to a happy and healthy baby boy on Thursday. Congratulations guys and welcome to the world Gus!

Brian Panowich also had some good news this week, but that has to remain under wraps for now. All I can say is well done, man. It’s no less than you deserve.

Some other happenings:

The Godfather of Brit Grit, Paul D. Brazill has my favorite British writer, Gareth Spark over at his Out Of The Gutter column this week. You can check it out here: BRIT GRIT ALLEY

Tucson writer and all round good guy, Chris DeWildt was interviewed on Bud Smith’s radio show the other night. He talks about writing, noir and reads a couple of stories from his excellent new collection, DEAD ANIMALS. Here’s the link: THE UNKNOWN SHOW

Tom Pitts, author of the fast-paced thrill fest, PIGGYBACK is also hitting the airwaves this week on Nikki Palomino’s Monday night show, DAZED. Tune in from 10pm EST on the 9th: DIGITAL RADIO 103

Finally, no blog post is ever complete without mentioning Joe Clifford. His band, The Wandering Jews have just released a new album, ALL THE PRETTY THINGS. If you dig the rock storytelling of Springsteen and the driving melodies of Gaslight Anthem then you really need to hear this. You can download it right now from iTunes: ALL THE PRETTY THINGS

Plenty to hammer down on there, folks.

Fiction For Your Face

Here is the second in my ongoing series of posts featuring pictures of Brian Panowich’s hand.

This one was taken yesterday at the Augusta Book Exchange where Brian used that very same hand to sign copies of Zelmer Pulp’s first two releases, C’MON DO THE APOCOLYPSE  and HEY, THAT ROBOT ATE MY BABY. He also used it to scratch himself a lot, so if you shook it I recommend plenty of hot water and carbolic soap.

For news and information on future events featuring the Zelmer crew you can now visit the all new Zelmer Pulp website at www.zelmerpulp.com  This wonderful web portal will host a variety of entertaining and informative articles about seasonal vegetables and South American rustic  pottery. It will also be the place to go for all the news on future Zelmer releases, guest contributors and other exciting and potentially illegal projects involving Emus. So bookmark it and visit often.

Seeds, Pigeons, Redheads and Egos

I have been fortunate enough to snag a mention from Spinetingler nominee, Brian Panowich, who is over at Chris Rhatigan’s Death By Killing site today. Brian says some very nice things about three of my recently published stories: Seeds, which appears at western zine, The Big Adios. Pigeon, published by Grit Magazine and my Gutter debut, A Redheaded woman.

This is the third time that my name has somehow found its way on to one of these “five you can’t miss” lists and I am very grateful to both Paul D. Brazill and Mike Monson who also put one of my stories in their top five. I suppose this must mean I’m doing something right. Thank you guys.
 

You can read all of these stories for free by clicking on the links to the right and you check out what Brian has to say about them here:  Death By Killing

ZELMER PULP – Hey, That Robot Ate My Baby!

I’ll admit it, I’m excited. The past three months have been a roller coaster ride of tears, laughter, uncontrollable flatulence and Aquaman jokes. The end result is the new release from Zelmer Pulp “Hey, That Robot Ate My Baby!”

Like Han Solo said, “Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.” And if it’s a stone cold blast of Pulp Sci-Fi that you’re after then check this out.

The madmen that brought you 2012's legendary zombie epic, C'MON AND DO THE APOCALYPSE VOL 1, are back in your face for the second wave, and this time they brought friends.

Joining Sayles and Panowich on their latest voyage into the world of Science Fiction are three of the hottest writers of genre fiction in the biz, Chris Leek, Isaac Kirkman, and ZELMER PULP cover artist Chuck Regan.

HEY,THAT ROBOT ATE MY BABY VOL. 1 features 5 distinct voices, and 5 mind-bending tales to astonish and offend.

Notice that part about offending? Well, that’s largely down to me, I left the astonishing to the other guys. We are all damn proud of the interstellar magnificence that lurks behind an amazing cover crafted by Zelmer’s own Chuck Regan. We also have a kick-ass introduction written by friend, mentor and President of the Universe, Joe Clifford.

The Kindle version is hot to trot right now and old school print style will be here in around a week. Please buy it and make a happy man very old. 10c from every book purchased will be donated to the Kansas City shelter for sexually abused emus*

Amazon US

Amazon UK

*This is a lie

2013 Spinetingler Awards

The nominations for this year's Spinetingler awards are out. This is the red carpet event for those of us who ply our trade in the murky depths of pulp crime fiction and noir.
I’m delighted to see that my good friend and Zelmer Pulp cohort Brian Panowich is up for Best Short Story on the Web with his double barrelled blast of Georgia noir “If I ever get off this mountain / Coming down the mountain.“

These two stories were published simultaneously by Shotgun Honey and The Flash Fiction Offensive and they tell the tale of a back country blood feud from the perspective of two different protagonists. Not only is this a damn clever idea that I wish I had thought of first, but the quality of the writing is exceptional. Don’t just take my word for it, go and read them for yourself.

This year is a good one for natives of Georgia as the brilliant debut novel from Peter Farris “Last Call for the Living” is also up for an award in the Best Novel: New Voice category.

Congratulations to all the other nominees. We are truly blessed with a wealth of talent in the world of crime fiction.  You can see all of the categories and cast your votes HERE

Smell The Glove

Surprisingly this post is not a thinly veiled homage to those fictional rockers, Spinal Tap, but a heads up on the new anthology from NTTK. Gloves Off features more awesomeness than you can shake a stick at. Anything with stories from the likes of: Tom Pitts, Jim Spry, Gareth Spark, Mike Monson and Paul D Brazill just has to be worth your time and your money.

 If that isn’t a big enough incentive, Gloves Off also includes a rock solid spine of stories from three Zelmer Pulp originals. Brian Panowich nails it like a $20 hooker with his bad ass tale, Somebody’s Daughter and Ryan Sayles grabs hold and doesn't let go with Squeezing. My small part in this tapestry of talent is some backwoods blood letting in Brothers Under The Bridge. It’s a story about kin and the price one man has to pay when he honors the debt owed by his dead father. If all that sounds a little too deep and meaningful, think of it more in terms of a shotgun shootout, followed by a killer car chase. There, is that better?

I guess, all I’m trying to say here is if you drop a couple of bucks into the old Amazon jukebox you can get yourself a kick ass anthology for less than the price of a skinny latte. Seriously, what more could you want?  Near To The Knuckle Presents: Gloves Off

Zelmer Pulp - Keep watching the skies

Citizens of Earth, the countdown has begun for a full on assault of the Sci-Fi genre by ZELMER PULP.

All the stories for our next release: HEY, THAT ROBOT ATE MY BABY! Have been turned in and as we speak they are being formatted for world domination.

It's an ambitious book for us, and we think it can hold its own with anything out there. So look out for it later this month, and don't say we didn't warn you. This ain't your daddy's science fiction. Here are some teasers, just to get you in the mood.

GEEK SQUAD 2.0  by Brian Panowich - In the 60’s and 70’s they did it with a bullet. In the 80’s and 90’s they did it with the media, but today if you want someone dead, it’s as easy as a Google search. The Geek Squad, bringing assassination to the modern age, but still can’t get dates for the prom.

WHEREVER THE LIGHT ENDS by Ryan Sayles - In 1947, twin sisters disappear from the face of the Earth during the most horrific experience of their lives. Later they are found, and they have new parents, new scars and a desire for a new life. When they die in 2012, shut-ins and with no family and no friends, the results of that one disappearance mark the end for mankind.

THIS PROTEAN LOVE by Isaac Kirkman - Adelita Salazar, the last living border agent of her precinct patrols the Tierras Oscuras, the Dark Lands, in search of her missing brother, encountering killers, and refugees, human, and machine in a futuristic world where the nature of reality is as uncertain as her future.

TIMEJACKED: THE RAND PARADOX by Chuck Regan - In the 24th Century, the ultimate form of vanity is to create a personal alternate Earth timeline. Chlör Byzantine, a B-Grade web celebrity, travels to 1957 to stop Ayn Rand from ruining the future... but she is ready and waiting for him.

THE WHORES OF GOD by Chris Leek - Earth in the 22nd Century is a nice place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to live there; the moral majority has taken a stand and if you want your kicks in 2132 you have to go off-world to get them. In the international waters of deep space everything is available, for a price. Jensen Corduroy is on a mission to get laid, but the Reverend Ellroy has a much higher purpose, he is on a mission from God.

In the meantime go and ‘Like’ us on Facebook to keep your finger on the Zelmer pulse:  ZELMER PULP

A Legend is Born

 

Back in the hedonistic days of 2012 Ryan Sayles and Brian Panowich were writers who plied their trade in the gritty world of noir. All that changed one bourbon soaked evening when they struck upon the idea of writing some shit about zombies instead. They enlisted the mighty talents of Chuck Regan and Zelmer Pulp was born.

Zelmer Pulp's first release, C’mon And Do The Apocalypse, Volume 1 hit the street around the same time as the Mayans lost count and has to date earned several (mostly) rave reviews and some discount coupons for dry cleaning.

Not satisfied with this seemingly unmatchable success the trio pushed on and sort out the suave and sophisticated Isaac Kirkman for his incredible writing ability and to help them get girls. When I mentioned that I still had the photos of Ryan and the chinchilla I too was invited aboard.

Now we few, we happy few, we band of brothers are working our fingers to the bone in basements, trailer parks and dry out centers across the globe to bring you the very last word in Sci-fi , Hey! That Robot Ate My Baby, Volume 1.

At Zelmer Pulp we set out to provide you with the very best in retro-futuristic, pulp hero, dark crime, monster noir, and neoclassical post-apocalyptic multi-generation uber-exploitive psychodrama. We also do seasonal recipe books.

So tell your friends there’s a new sheriff in town and make sure you like us on Facebook because we're all really needy and just wanna be adored.

Click here to Visit Zelmer Pulp on Facebook and keep watching the skies people.


Buy from Amazon