Easy Money

Okay, so here's the deal, I wrote this bizarre little tale and I don't have a clue what to do with it. I could just leave it to rot on my hard drive (or maybe send it to Jerry Springer), but I figure that's no way to treat your words.

I don't post much of my own stuff here and there are probably lots of good reasons for that, but what the hell...

There ain’t nothing like walking out them gates a free man and feeling the sun on your face. Take it from one who knows, getting out is just about the finest thing in this world, it’s better than beer or whiskey, maybe even pussy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m planning on getting reacquainted with all three of them just as soon as I can.

I got myself busted for a job me and this guy, Sully pulled up in Spring Creek. I had the kind of debts no honest man could pay and Sully told me he was always looking for a little easy money. First Mutual Savings & Loan had plenty of that, all it took was the stones to go get it.

The way it’s done is to go in hard like you mean it, don’t take no shit and only hit the cash draws. Forget the vault, it takes too long and it’ll hang you out to dry, by the time you get done playing around back there you got SWAT throwing you a party in the parking lot. The cash draws are quick and dirty, like a good whore.

That’s how Sully and me hit it, we didn’t hurt nobody and breezed out with a stone cold 30 grand. Afterwards we split the take we went our own ways. I stashed most of mine out at the Johnson place, coffee cans under the floor, safer than any bank I know. I was too busy congratulating myself to notice some of those bills were marked and when I started spreading them around on cheap booze and cheaper women that was all she wrote. I don’t know what Sully had planned, that weren’t my business. All I know is they caught him laying heavy at the Stud tables up in Reno.

I got whacked up with a five stretch, the judge figured I was the brains of the outfit, if you can believe that. Sully-boy got off with an easy three, leastways it should have been. Some people ain’t cut out for the joint and I suppose Sully’s just one of them. He never wrote me or nothing so I don’t know the truth of it, but I heard he spent most of his term getting nailed by a 300lb sister called Daisy Duke. That’s a hard way to live, when all you got to look forward to is a reach around from a gorilla.

Still the past is done. I paid my dues mister and I got a letter from the parole board to prove it. People say that prison changes a man. It changed me. I’m free and clear now and that’s just how it’s gonna stay. From what I hear it sure changed Sully too. He calls himself Stardust now, spent what was left of his cut on a pair of sit-up-and-beg titties and big ghetto booty. He or maybe I should say she's working down in Vegas, selling it to high rollers who go that way for 250 bucks a ride. I guess it’s a living but it don’t sound much like easy money to me.